XTA

I’ve been really sad lately. For the past month I haven’t really been myself. I don’t even go out anymore. The only time I go out is basketball games and dinner before. Other than that I’ve been by myself at home. But I honestly enjoy it. I like being alone and not having to worry about anyone or anything. It’s calming. But at the same time even though I enjoy it, it isn’t me. I’m the one that’s always ready for an adventure and be a little rebellious. But now I’m not down for anything anymore. I’ve been out of my element. And I’ve been feeling more alone than ever. Like I have no one to lean on. And it hurts. Being sad and down for more than just one day isn’t me at all. I only put the happy face on because I hate being questioned. I just wanna be left alone so I act like I’m happy. It’s easier that way. But I honestly can’t explain how I’m feeling except for that I’m sad. I’m genuinely sad. It isn’t just a one day thing. It’s been constant and I don’t know how to fix it. As much as I try to go back to my normal self it seems like one bad thing after another keeps coming by way. What else can go wrong? I just need a fresh breath of air.

Cheers to another night crying myself to sleep.